When breast cancer decides to pay a visit, it ravages through the whole family. This is a Guest Post from Hot Hubby written on the one year anniversary of my double mastectomy!
I’m pretty sure it’s a coincidence, but it’s really weird. When I turned on Apple Music in the car this morning, what came up “For You” was Jack Johnson’s album. And the exact song I listened to one year ago today in the hospital waiting room. I listened again to “Better Together” and remembered writing about that song during Sam’s surgery to eliminate her cancer. Exactly one year ago today.
One year went by so fast, and so slowly at the same time. After multiple surgeries (5? 6? I lost count at 3…) and so much pain, stress, physical change and disruption in her life, I’m so VERY proud of my wife and her ability to get through this past year and still be positive, smiling, and living life to the fullest. I’m astounded with all that she’s dealt with. I know I don’t tell her enough how much I love her, or how amazed I am at her strength, positive attitude and perseverance. I know I remember every few days all the things she’s had to endure, but she remembers every single day. And I know I don’t ask her enough how she feels about the whole thing, how she’s coping, how it’s changed her. I do know it’s been a challenge, and I also know she’s met the challenge head-on.
While I knew she would get through it, because she’s always been able to tackle whatever hardship is thrown her way, I had no idea when this started how difficult it would be physically or mentally.
Looking back over how much she’s overcome, how quickly she recovered from each surgery, how many doctors we interviewed, how many questions we’ve asked, how many times I had to help her change her bandages, I’m thrilled she’s made it through with such composure. This unexpected (and unwanted) journey made us both realize how lucky we are to be here, to live in such a wonderful community, to have such a great circle of friends, and how blessed we are to have two kids that are flexible, resilient and independent.
If I haven’t said this enough to you, dear reader, I mean it: Thank you! Thanks so much for helping us get through this with your actions, comments, well-wishes and positive thoughts. I really don’t think we could have done it alone.
I try on occasion (and tried again today) to comprehend how difficult this year must have been for Sam mentally. Being so naturally independent and strong and self-sufficient (some might say strong-willed) I know how helpless she must have felt during her weeks and weeks in recovery, dependent on me and her friends for just about everything. How traumatizing it must be to wake up with a pain and wonder if the cancer’s back. How worried she must be going to regular checkups and wondering what the doctor would find.
For someone who seeks to understand and manage everything in her life, the fact that cancer is unknowable must be truly dreadful. And yet, she gets up every day with a positive attitude, ready to take on the world and move forward.
My dearest wife and love of my life, you are an amazing person and the best role model for our kids – and anyone who ever has to deal with hardship or overcome a challenge.
I want to say “Happy Anniversary” but I know that’s not quite right…I do want to recognize this HUGE milestone, though. So I’m blogging to commemorate.
I know that this is the first of many, many, many more years of being together, and being cancer-free.
(Apple Music, thanks for the eerily-timed reminder)
I love you Sam and always will.